No clue what to do....

I need to get motivated.

Time to surf the interwebs!
http://img.7chan.org/fl/src/Linerider.swf

I somehow feel like my life has gone downhill.


I'm poor,
Lonely,
Insecure,
Failing,
and lost.
I don't know what to do.

I know I'm going to have to stop eating now. Work harder in my classes.
and try to find someone who will give me sex, and doesn't make me feel insecure about my body.

I'm going to try to get with Sean. He's really sweet. Maybe a few ego strokes and he'll like me.
I hope to high heavens he knows how to use a condom, and that he isn't a virgin.
well, maybe I hope he is a virgin. But that he knows how to use a condom.
I find those things so annoying.
I wish I was a virgin sometimes. Sex seems to be what hovers in my mind.
I really had hoped Michael and I could have had a real relationship.
He seems like such a good guy. He is a little too different from me though, our views differ too much. I felt like I was taking his money a few times. It just made me feel guilty, cause I knew it would never work.
Goddamn. He told me to not write about suicide. It's my body and my choice. He's too apathetic. I'm too loud. He's too chivilrous. I'm too butch. He wasn't too good at the sex part either. He never gave well. I still want to taste his cock, it's just so nice and thick.


I hope he won't be angry at me for breaking up.
It's really more of an its not my fault kind of thing.

I should definitely practice that "not being a bitch" routine.


I had deja vu again today. It hurt like a car crash. My head had a sharp pain, right in the back left. I need a hug. I need someone to cuddle me.

I just need to find a guy who suits me. And a job. But I don't want one.